I have a car!
Oh my goodness I love it. So much. Although I am still a learner so I have to have Joe in there with me, I feel like so much has changed. I booked my test last night and I cannot wait to pass and get some much needed independence. I really feel like it would change my life.
I have also started giving Isabelle a little more independence, now she’s 2 and everything. It’s only silly little things like leaving the kitchen baby gate open (now she has her Ikea Kitchen to play with) and leaving her to play in her room a bit while I shower and get ready and stuff. I also have released the apron strings a little and when we are out and about walking the dog (nowhere near a road obviously) I let Isabelle run about and not hold my hand. I know that sounds like a minor thing but it honestly terrifies me, I can clearly picture her falling flat on her face and it’s awful.
I have also been thinking more about returning to work. I have had 2 years off now with Isabelle (not including my maternity leave) and with Joe changing jobs and getting a car and Isabelle getting more grown up, is it time for me to start doing something for me? I’m so conflicted though. It isn’t easy to go back to work, with ridiculous childcare costs I would need to earn over £20,000 per year for it to even be a little bit worthwhile. THen of course you have to think about how many people would actually bother to hire someone who doesn’t have a ‘specific set of skills’ (thank you Liam Neeson). I’m just a generic office, admin type person. I also think that people see the maternity leave on my CV and think that they would rather hire someone who didn’t have children, or a man, because to them work would generally come first whereas to me it never will. Let’s be honest, if Isabelle was poorly it would be me that came out of work to care for her, not Joe, because Joe is our family breadwinner. Then I have to weigh up putting Isabelle in nursery full time. How much of a shock will that be for her, considering it has just been the two of us at home all day every day for the past two years? There are hardly any part time jobs out there, it’s all just so difficult.
How does everyone else do it? Do you work for very little after childcare for the independence? For the money? Do family provide you with the free childcare you need to enable work to be worthwhile?