Motherhood, Musings

Finding my ‘Mum Style’.

It feels kind of wrong to say ‘mum style’.

It should just be ‘style’ right? Because being a mum doesn’t define me…yada yada yada.

Except it kinda does.

I base my daily outfit decisions on my plans for that day and obviously as a mum, my plans are determined by my life with my family. So soft-play means dresses and skirts are a no, unless of course your child is of school age in which case you rarely have to go in and rescue them – so you can probably get away with a skirt or a dress. Then you have to consider the likelihood of them getting their bodily fluids on you. How likely are they to launch their food in your direction?

It’s a minefield.

What you wear does depend on your kid and your status as a mum. Or at least it does for me. If you have a sicky baby or you’re breastfeeding, it is probably a good idea to even take spare clothes out with you. Not only that but generally, you’re pretty bound by the ability to whip out a boob at any point so all your clothes need to be able to free a nipple pretty sharpish.

So now I have reached a stage where my daughter is three and a half. She starts school this year. She doesn’t need me nearly as much to crawl around or get in the ball pit at soft-play. It is rare she spills food down me or gets snot in my hair. I can dress a little bit more for me.

Except, I have no idea what my style is anymore.

I tried ‘the bright lipstick’. It smudged very quickly and left me feeling a bit stressed all the time.

Finding my 'Mum Style'

I tried to be the casual ‘jumpers and jeans but still stylish’ mum – that didn’t work for me either. I just felt frumpy.

Finding my 'Mum Style'

Getting up in the morning and getting out of the door for the nursery drop off at 9am means that I don’t always have time to do my make up or my hair. I often look scruffy and just grab the first clothes to hand.

Then, I go home and if I’m headed out I make myself look a little more presentable. I actually often find that when I go back to do the nursery pick up the other parents are like ‘Oh! You look nice!’ purely because I’m dressed and look awake for a change.

I have always loved fashion.

I’ve poured over Glamour and Cosmo for over a decade now. I love Instagram for seeing what other people are wearing and I envy their sense of style. If I try it out myself, it just looks a little bit crap. I’m not into accessories, I don’t tend to wear jewellery even though I have plenty. I always just look like someone trying that little bit too hard to be cool.

Can you love fashion and still be completely unfashionable?

Then of course you have the old mum bod. I’m the biggest I’ve ever been, I’m wobbly in weird places and my boobs are rapidly heading south. If I try to wear what I see others wearing, I just look like a sack of spuds.

There was a phase last year (or maybe it’s still going on, who knows) where loads of dresses had like cut out bits in them. I would innocently pick up a dress in a shop, try it on and discover my muffin top ‘sexily’ hanging out. Or that there was a weird little boob window cut out.

I just can’t find my style right now. I can’t get comfortable in what I like and what I enjoy wearing.

People like Dress Like a Mum and Hannah Gale are nailing it, but I can’t even imagine the looks of pure confusion I would get if I wore colours that bright in Shropshire.

I did a big ASOS order a few weeks ago and ordered a load of wrap midi dresses, thinking they would be perfect. They looked absolutely awful. I cannot even describe to you how ridiculous I looked and felt. So, I sent it all back and when they had their sale on I bought a whole load of new dresses.

It would seem that I’m trying to pull off the tea dress right now.

I’m not sure how well it’s going. I feel quite nice in them, though I do feel a bit packed in so I think I need to embrace the next size up. I tend to wear them with tights and ballet flats to be casual or tights and black heeled boots to look a bit fancy. Then I slip my wellies and coat over the top for the dog walk…

This post doesn’t really have a point other than me being all confused about what to wear each day and trying to figure out who I am outside of being a mum. Especially now that I have more time each day and in the foreseeable future.

My predictions are that polka dots are going to be big this year. I keep seeing them everywhere so I may try and jump on that bandwagon. Watch this space.

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