In my family, we bloody love a good film/tv show. We love all things Marvel, we obsess over the latest Netflix series (I’m looking at you Designated Survivor!) so of course we saw Trolls advertised and I knew Isabelle would love it.
Amazingly, she sits through films at the cinema no problem (most of the time). A little bit of a popcorn bribe and we make it through 90 minutes relatively unscathed.
But of course, like any toddler, she has a witching hour. For those of you without children (or with perfectly behaved children) the witching hour is when your kids lose their shit. They go completely feral. Some run around, jumping on the furniture, throwing things. Mine, she writhes and squirms about and generally rubs herself on everything. Like a dog.
It’s really strange to witness, it generally happens at about 3pm until bedtime, it is especially bad if she hasn’t had her midday nap. So normally we go to the cinema in the morning if we are going to go, but I was having one of those days where I just couldn’t seem to get everything sorted so I could get out of the house at a reasonable time. So we went to an afternoon showing.
I should have immediately realised my mistake, my attempt at putting her down for a nap had resulted in her tantrumming so hard she threw up on her pillow so we weren’t off to a great start, and I had forgotten that we would be in the cinema during the witching hour.
It started out fine, it was the second time she had seen the film so although I was a bit bored she seemed to be enjoying it. Until the popcorn ran out. She started her impression of a wiggly squid and started writhing about on my lap refusing to sit still. I tried pinning her, muttering very quietly in her ear that if she didn’t settle down we would leave. Then she broke my nose.
Now I don’t know for sure if my nose is actually broken (it isn’t) but she threw her head back and smashed it so hard into my nose that my eyes filled with tears and I felt the blood immediately start pouring.
Just so you know, wet wipes make any situation with blood look a million times worse. I tried to soldier on, she was apologetic, she sat nicely while I mopped up my face but I could feel it starting to crust on my cheeks so we had to abandon ship and head to the cinema toilet to clean up. We then headed home, my head was pounding, my nose was throbbing and I was done parenting for the day.
Lesson Learnt: DONT LEAVE THE HOUSE AT WITCHING HOUR.